Finding Hope - 10th Anniversary of 911

My name is Victor Guzman,
and I'm a 9/11 survivor. I was on the 85th floor
when the first plane hit the North Tower. Since 9/11, my life has
never been the same. It's actually better.

This is my story. I remember the sky was
a perfect blue. It was a beautiful September
morning. I know he had a long commute, an
hour and a half, two hours.

And one time we were sitting out
talking, and he determined that he was commuting about
20 hours a week. And we said, "Well, that's
a part-time job." I get into my office and start
typing my billing, as attorneys do. And I remember pressing Print. As I'm getting up, I hear
this great explosion.

And the building rocks forward
to the point where I have to brace myself against the
wall at my desk. And then it snapped back. There was nothing but
smoke and smell. We saw that the elevators
weren't working, that some of them were actually blown out.

We found the staircase. We slowly descend down. I do remember, at
the explosion, saying a quick prayer. And I still say that it was that
prayer that kept me calm.

All of a sudden, family
became important. Before then it was getting
the material things for the family. That was one of the reasons
why I went to work at the Trade Center. I was going to make
much more money.

He had started this job probably
about three months before 9/11. He was gung-ho about his job. I just remember sitting in front
of the TV, grabbing a pillow and just rocking
back and forth. And as I was doing that, I
remember distinctly thinking to myself that he had kissed me
goodbye that morning, and that was really odd for
him to wake me up to just kiss me goodbye.

And I was so thrilled that we
said goodbye on good terms. At that point, I wasn't sure
what was going to happen. We finally get out. And as I started running,
I hear a loud crunching of glass and metal.

And when I turn around, I see
that tower, that I'd been just a few minutes before running
out of, starts coming down. The faster I ran, the
closer that plume of smoke was coming. And all of a sudden,
that plume of smoke just overcomes us. And I was just at
Pace University.

I remember I'm still shaking,
and I go in. And at that point, I hear the
North Tower come down. And I remember just
my knees buckling. And I just fell into
the chair.

I put my hands in my face, and
I'm like--the first question was, "Why me? Why did I survive?" And then the
next thought was, "I was in that building that
just collapsed." And as the years went on, that
guilt became an issue. First year, I suppressed it. The first year, it was more
about the notoriety, the "Oh, wow, you were survivor of
9/11." And that took me through the first year. And I remember around the
second anniversary, I.

Emotionally fell apart. I dreaded going to sleep. So I would stay up late. And then when I got to sleep,
I didn't want to get up.

I just didn't want
to deal with it. It was hard--again, I guess the
ego, that I should be able to deal with this. "I shouldn't be an
emotional mess. I shouldn't be teary-eyed." Or
"I shouldn't be jumping at every noise that I hear." The realization came
that I couldn't do it by myself anymore.

It was humbling to realize
that I needed help. How's it going? Great. The bishop, he would always talk
to Victor and give him a hug and ask him, "Victor,
are you OK?" He became another
father figure. I remember him always putting
his arm around me, and how I.

Needed that--how I needed
someone else to realize that I. Was in pain. The hard part about changing
is that I was enjoying the money I was making in the city
and realized that I had to have faith that 1) we were going
to continue to pay our bills, and 2) that we were going
to have to do without. I wanted a job that I was
allowed to come home early.

I took a job in Newburgh, which
is about 30 minutes from where we live. And the difference it made--that
I was able to go to a baseball game, my daughter was
on a soccer team--and just those little things that weren't
important before became the focus. [WHISTLES] Scripture study. Let's go.

John. Let's go. One thing that we were lacking
in, because I wasn't around, is sitting together as a
family and reading the scriptures. And I found a new life
in the scriptures.

And I would bury myself in the
scriptures, actually looking for solace. And as I continued to do
that, I wanted to share that with the kids. I wanted them to have a love
of the scriptures. What I saw through
Christ's life was that He was the healer.

He was going to make me whole
for the sacrifices that He went through. It wasn't the pursuits
of money. It didn't talk about commuting
four hours a day. It talked about loving the
little children and how He blessed them throughout
His life.

And that opened my eyes. Well, he was always
a great man. But he became greater, I
think, because of his experience. He's more family-focused.

He's more focused on his
community and focused on serving others, in addition
to his job. Yeah, he's still working
hard in his employment. But he's paying attention to the
real basics in life, the things that really matter. He's focused right in there.

Even till today, he has called
me on 9/11 since the first time, just to say hello, that
he was thinking about me. And that made all the difference
in the world. After 9/11, some have said
there is no God. For me, He's never
been more real.

[MUSIC PLAYING].